When You’re Not Okay

We talk a lot about training, enrichment, routines, and tools but we don’t talk enough about us.

The truth is, our mental health has a direct impact on our relationship with our dogs. And pretending otherwise doesn’t help anyone. Not us and not them.

I want to share this because recently, life hit harder than expected.

In November, my brother was diagnosed with depression. Watching someone you love struggle like that, especially from far away, is heavy. Add to that being in another country, running a small business, feeling the pressure of social media, and quietly wondering why things aren’t moving as fast as you hoped, it can be draining in ways that are hard to explain.

I pulled back. I stopped posting. I disappeared for a bit.

Not because I stopped caring, but because I simply needed to breathe.

Dogs Feel Us More Than We Realise

Dogs are incredibly perceptive. They read body language, tone, energy, and patterns long before we ever say a word. When we’re anxious, flat, overwhelmed, or emotionally exhausted, our dogs notice.

Sometimes that shows up as:

• Less patience during walks or training

• Shorter sessions or skipped routines

• Reduced play or engagement

• More frustration when things don’t go smoothly

And sometimes, it shows up in our dogs too. Increased reactivity, restlessness, clinginess, or shutdown behaviours.

This doesn’t mean we’re failing them.

It means we’re human.

Mental Health and Guilt Go Hand in Hand

One of the hardest parts of struggling mentally as a dog guardian is the guilt.

They deserve more. I should be doing better. Why can’t I just push through?

But here’s the thing: dogs don’t need perfection. They need honesty, consistency where possible and connection.

Some days, connection looks like a big adventure. Other days, it looks like sitting on the floor together doing absolutely nothing.

Both count.

Showing Up Looks Different on Different Days

When my mental health takes a dip, I’ve learned to lower the bar. Not out of laziness but out of compassion.

That might mean:

• Choosing sniffy, low-pressure walks instead of structured training

• Using enrichment toys instead of forcing interaction

• Giving myself permission to rest without self-judgement

Dogs don’t measure our worth by productivity. They measure it by presence.

And sometimes, just being there is enough.

The Pressure of Social Media (And Stepping Back)

Running a business in the dog space often means being constantly visible. Posting. Teaching. Showing up. Educating. Inspiring.

But being online all the time can blur the line between passion and pressure.

Stepping back doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you listened.

I’m sharing this now because I want people to know that disappearing doesn’t erase your values, your knowledge or your love for dogs. It just means you’re human navigating a hard season.

It’s Okay Not to Be Okay

If you’re struggling right now, mentally, emotionally, financially or all of the above: you’re not alone.

Your dog doesn’t need you to be okay all the time. They need you to be kind to yourself.

Taking care of your mental health is taking care of your dog.

And if today all you can do is show up imperfectly, that’s still showing up.

I’m back now. Slowly. Gently. On my own terms.

And if you’re reading this and feeling seen, I’m really glad you’re here. 🧡